Setting firm boundaries with a person you have feelings for begins with you, not them. According to relationship expert Damona Hoffman, there are a few things you can do to make the process easier. Battling the feeling of a crush can be difficult, and a persistent crush may indicate underlying issues that need to be addressed. It is difficult to wish away romantic feelings with willpower alone. Since you are in a committed relationship, those feelings may also come with guilt. You may experience intrusive thoughts or fantasies about the person. In the early stages of a crush, chemicals in the brain go haywire, leading to an intense desire to be near the target of the crush. Getty Managing Your FeelingsĬrushes and initial romantic attraction can be intense feelings. Acting on your feelings, however, would be seriously detrimental. Don't worry as much about your feelings as your actions your feelings are not wrong, nor are they disrespectful to your partner. Your feelings may indicate a desire for friendship with a member of the sex you are attracted to. Close, non-sexual relationships are a necessary and healthy part of human social interaction. Your main takeaway should be the recognition that developing feelings for someone other than your spouse is a normal, everyday occurrence. Evidence suggests that nearly half of those surveyed have a work spouse or someone with whom they are a close friend and behave in a manner similar to a married couple. Attraction among coworkers is also frequent. Research indicates that 98 percent of men and 80 percent of women have fantasized about someone other than their partner in the last two months. Merely fantasizing about someone other than a spouse is even more common. The same study also found that almost none of the participants expected their feelings to develop into intimate encounters or relationships. One study indicated that most people who develop feelings for someone other than their partner never communicate those feelings to the person of interest. Falling in love with another person while married is acceptable, but following through on those feelings and engaging in an affair certainly isn't. That doesn't mean that 20 percent of adults are acting on those feelings, though. Catching romantic feelings for someone other than your spouse is common one recent poll reported that 20 percent of adults in a relationship have feelings for someone else. You have done nothing to harm your spouse as long as your feelings don't progress to dates and infidelity. You have not betrayed your partner by simply having feelings for another person. No matter what your feelings are, there is hope for your marriage. "It’s always important to decipher if you are in love with the other person or in love with the idea of a fresh start.” The excitement of new romance may mislead us into believing that it will always feel this way." - Aaron Horn LMFT Is My Marriage Over?
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